Week 7 Storybook: The Greatest Ally
The great war was over and things were just beginning to die down. Yu had just been crowned and was dealing with the new kingly responsibility's. His brothers were recuperating from the great fight while dwelling in the castle. Their mother Kunny was also living in the castle.
It had been Kunny and her boys for as long as she could remember. She was the one who changed their diapers, bought them toy weapons (then real weapons) to practice with. She was there when they got married and she was there to patch up each and every one of them as they returned from battle. But, Kunny sensed something shift. The boys seemed different after the war. More grown. They didn't seek her out for advice or comfort anymore. They were no longer little boys that needed their mother.
The brothers felt their mother hovering. She was always around asking if anyone was hungry or if anyone needed their pants stitched up. Of course they loved their mother. She raised them not only to be strong warriors, but to be good people. But each of them felt depleted after the war. They needed to meditate, reflect, and come to terms with the bloodshed they created. They didn't have the time they wanted to coddle their mother.
The parents of a couple of their deceased comrades had decided to take a trip around the world, "to see everything their children should have seen." They left next week. The brothers thought this would be a great opportunity for Kunny. When presented with the idea, she quickly refused. She had duties as a mother to be there for children.
Her children gathered around her and began to tell stories from their childhood. The time she stood up to their bully cousins. The time the boys returned from a battle and she had made each of their favorite meals. Or the many, many times she listened to them cry for their fallen friends. Kunny had been their protector, their biggest fan, and their greatest ally.
Her boys were all grown up, Kunny realized. It was time for Kunny to experience her own adventure.
Author's Note
My story is a little retelling of the Forest and Its Ghosts story. In the original story, many of fallen soldiers left behind heart-broken parents. Many of them, including Kunti mother of the brothers Pandavas, went to live peacefully in the jungle. In my story, "Kunny" still left, but she left to travel the world.
Forest and Its Ghosts by Donald A. Mackenzie
It had been Kunny and her boys for as long as she could remember. She was the one who changed their diapers, bought them toy weapons (then real weapons) to practice with. She was there when they got married and she was there to patch up each and every one of them as they returned from battle. But, Kunny sensed something shift. The boys seemed different after the war. More grown. They didn't seek her out for advice or comfort anymore. They were no longer little boys that needed their mother.
The brothers felt their mother hovering. She was always around asking if anyone was hungry or if anyone needed their pants stitched up. Of course they loved their mother. She raised them not only to be strong warriors, but to be good people. But each of them felt depleted after the war. They needed to meditate, reflect, and come to terms with the bloodshed they created. They didn't have the time they wanted to coddle their mother.
The parents of a couple of their deceased comrades had decided to take a trip around the world, "to see everything their children should have seen." They left next week. The brothers thought this would be a great opportunity for Kunny. When presented with the idea, she quickly refused. She had duties as a mother to be there for children.
Her children gathered around her and began to tell stories from their childhood. The time she stood up to their bully cousins. The time the boys returned from a battle and she had made each of their favorite meals. Or the many, many times she listened to them cry for their fallen friends. Kunny had been their protector, their biggest fan, and their greatest ally.
Her boys were all grown up, Kunny realized. It was time for Kunny to experience her own adventure.
Author's Note
My story is a little retelling of the Forest and Its Ghosts story. In the original story, many of fallen soldiers left behind heart-broken parents. Many of them, including Kunti mother of the brothers Pandavas, went to live peacefully in the jungle. In my story, "Kunny" still left, but she left to travel the world.
Forest and Its Ghosts by Donald A. Mackenzie
Kunti with her boys. web source
Hello Jasmin! I just wanted to say that I loved your story! It flowed very well! You had my attention from the beginning to the very end! I can see you put a lot of hard work and imagination into your writing. I hope you have a great semester! Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHey Jasmin!
ReplyDeleteFirst thing’s first your story was great and I loved it. It was very well written, grasping my attention from the beginning. You used some awesome vocabulary and it looks like you put a great amount of effort into writing this story! The image you included at the bottom was very captivating. Goodluck with he rest or your semester!
Hey Jasmin! you wrote an awesome story! I could tell you put effort into it and had my attention pretty easily! Your blog is set up pretty nicely and is super easy to navigate. I'll be back to read more of your stories throughout the semester! Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHey Jasmin,
ReplyDeleteI had a chance to read through your story, and I am very glad that I did. I loved it. Your story was written very well. Your blog page is also an enjoyable experience in general as it is very reader friendly. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more of your stories as the semester progresses.
-Andy
Hi Jasmin! Right off the bat, you do an excellent job of pulling the reader in with both a great first sentence and a paragraph which efficiently relays the locations of the main characters. This story is so sweet and has a great flow. The ending is the perfect send-off: Kunny comes to her realization, and decides to travel herself (the motivations of the other parents to travel packed a whallop of sadness). The imagery of Kunny and her boys as they grew up was a great way to frame their present relationship. Thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteHey Jasmin! I was so sad to see that the children saw their mother's care as burdening. I think that it would be really interesting to see all of the things that Kunny missed out on when she was instead spending her time making sure that her children has the best upbringing as possible. I think I would include details about how caring for them took a toll on her love life and she didn't get to travel the world like she wanted to early in her marriage because she accidentally became pregnant with her son!
ReplyDelete