Week 2 Story:HEART

There wasn't much to be said about the island of Ceylon. No one outside of its inhabitants even knew it existed and anyone who was unfortunate enough to stumble upon the unexplored land, never left. No one ever left. The island of Ceylon was home to a group of She-goblins. The She-goblins in their truest forms were violent, hungry monsters. But the face they showed their guests was beautiful. They were kind and inviting, ensnaring men with a simple gaze. They loved the game of capturing a man's attention, letting love blind them. It was in that moment that they would strike. She-goblins are always hungry for the flesh of men.
A group of sailors were traveling West in order to deliver an important shipment of goods to a neighboring country, when they encountered a terrible storm. The storm pounded their ship, ripped their sails, and stripped them of any chance of survival. Somehow, most of the crew floated adrift on to a miracle island. As the crew ventured further on the island, they saw no sign of life. Eventually, they found themselves in a small village. The village was alive with noisy activity, paying no mind to the group of strangers observing them. Someone did notice and soon a group of villagers had gathered around the sailors. 
The sailors noticed that the villagers were all women, attractive women. The women greeted the sailors kindly and offered them food and water. Soon, they were all seated around a fire eating a feast prepared especially for them. The sailors found themselves enamored with these strange village women. Long gone were the feelings of despair, the men felt at home. And so, this strange little village on this miracle island, became their home.
The men adapted to village life. Some began to help with fishing, others helped built huts. But all the men found themselves married to a village woman within the first month of living there. They were happy and in-love. Life seemed to have taken a weird turn for the better. It was also around this time that men began to disappear.  
Sailor after sailor went missing. The village women blamed it on animals in the forest. coming in the middle of night and stealing the men away. They calmed the fears of their men and surrounded them in their love. One night, a sailor awoke to his wife getting into their bed. She told him that she gotten hungry and had gotten something to eat. The man wasn't bothered by this because his wife frequently grew hungry in the dead of night. But, the man caught sight of something in his wife's hair as she laid down to sleep. It looked like a tooth. In fact it was a tooth, a gold tooth. There was a crew member on his ship that a gold tooth...The man didn't sleep the rest of the night.
In the morning, the man gathered his crew and explained what he saw. It wasn't long before they figured out that they had married into a group of She-goblins. They were once again filled with despair, estimating when the next man would be eaten. Fortunately for them, a fairy godmother who hated She-goblins also lived on the island. She told them that if they could solve a riddle, she would provide an escape for them. The riddle went "A face of gold, never growing old. Words like honey, make a man feel funny. People can be art, but it's more important to look at the..." The men were puzzled for a moment, but realization sank in as they learned the riddle was about them. Instead of being captured by the appearance and words of the She-goblins, they should have been more aware of who these women really were. "HEART" the sailors yelled together. A beautiful tiger appeared and carried the men away. 

Authors Note: The main things that I changed from the original story is the fact that the fairy godmother challenged the sailors with a riddle before granting them safe passage off the island. Instead of leaving on a horse, they left on a tiger.
Bibliography: "Goblin City" from The Giant Crab and Other Tales from Old India by W.H.D Rouse. web source
A savior. web source


Comments

  1. First, I love the intro. I found it absolutely gripping. It did a great job of setting up the mysterious island and its dangerous inhabitants. Also, the twists you incorporated with the clever rhyming riddle at the end and the appearance of a majestic tiger to help carry the sailors away were great! In addition, I liked that you provided a purpose for the sailors’ venture and for their maroonment- it gave the story a heightened sense of urgency and was very effective.

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  2. Jasmin,
    I loved your story! I think you did a great job in using very detailed language and putting the readers mind into the story itself. I could practically feel the anxiety radiating off of the page with the amount of urgency that you were able to portray in the text. I think my favorite part was that you changed up the horse to a tiger. The tiger just seems to fit in better with the class in general... but then again it may just be that I really like tigers too!

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  3. Hey Jasmin,
    I loved the visuals and language you used in this version of Goblin City that you wrote. While reading this I was able to picture myself there with the men and was more interested in reading it than the actual version of this that I read. The part about seeing the gold tooth that once belonged to one of the other sailors really drew me in and added a twist to how they realized their mistake kept me ver entertained. I really liked the part where they had to solve the riddle before the fairy godmother would help them. It helped add to the story and show that the sailors actually had a dimension about them that included brains instead of getting free help that made the ending simple. I do think the story could have been made more interesting if instead of the fairy godmother showing up that the sailors heard a rumor about her and had to go seek her out to get the chance to be saved.

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  4. Hey Jasmin. I seriously loved your story. You did an awesome job with including all these little details to really get the reader immersed in the tale. I loved how you changed things up to make them your own. Your author's note was straight to the point with what exactly you changed and I loved that. Sometimes the notes can be a bit vague about what changed and others have too much summary going on, but your entire story and note were great.

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  5. Hi Jasmin! This was a great retelling of the story, and I think you did a good job of displaying the fear that the sailors faced as they learned more and more about the she-goblins. One thing that always puzzled me about this story was why the fairy godmother happened to be on the island and why she hated the goblins so much. I think it would be interesting to create a story for that one plot point. Overall though, this is a great story!

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  6. Hey Jasmin,

    Such a great story! I was creeped by the first paragraph as you introduced the She-goblins who have some freakish characteristics. When I read the part where he saw the gold tooth in the woman's hair, I was on the edge of my seat! I thought it would have been the end for his crew there. As soon as they solved the riddle I was at relief. Good story!

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  7. Hi Jasmin! I just read your story and I really enjoyed it! I could really feel the suspense! I wanted to know where are the men were going too. The concept of She-goblins was good and you incorporated it well into your story. I am glad that they were able to find a way to save themselves because that would have terrifying.

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